Facebook

I know I've mentioned this before but it definitely needs to be repeated...one should put serious thought into accepting your mom's Facebook friend request. I felt bad since my mom had about 10 friends so I accepted the friend request without putting much thought into my decision. At the time, I didn't realize that every one of my status updates or anything else I post would result in a text and/or telephone conversation discussing the post.

My status: "had a stressful day and can't wait to get home from work"

And the texting begins...

Mom: "why r u stresful?"
Me: "I just had a long day"
Mom: "why? r u ok?"
Me: "Yeah i'm fine. I just had a lot of work and it was just a long day."
Mom: "but why? u r no ok"
Me: "It's just a status, I'm fine"

This was not sufficient information and a phone call followed:

Mom: "What happened?"
Me: "Nothing! I'm just tired"
Mom: "Oh my god, ok I'll call you later"

These conversations take place even after a good status update.

My status: "excited to go out to dinner!"

Mom: "Where r u going?"
Me: "I'm going to dinner with a couple friends"
Mom: "where r u going"
Me: "We haven't decided yet"
Mom: "thanks for invite me!"

I will obviously be changing my privacy settings so that certain people can't view my status updates. That is, until I am asked why I don't ever post anything since her News Feed is doesn't have much.

What I would imagine my mom's reaction is to my status update of me going out to dinner...without her.

Gardening

If there's one thing that I hate doing most in the house, it would be gardening. Thankfully, I'm married to someone who hates it just a little less than I do and is willing to do it. I'd clean the entire house, hand wash our cars, and cut the grass all in one day rather than just do a little gardening. You are probably thinking if I hate gardening, then why would I rather mow the lawn? It's not as bad, you just push the lawnmower and then you're done. It may not make much sense to many of you, but I'm sure there is at least one person who understands. Anyway...I was helping out gardening because we were putting mulch down and while I was taking one of my many breaks I noticed my mom had texted me:

Mom: "Hi, how r u"
Me: "Good, i'm gardening. how are you?"
Mom: "Nice is good terapy. I'm home"
Me: "I hate gardening, this is not good therapy at all"
Mom: "I think is nice good terapy but u dont have much to do, was so nice arrange"
Me: "No I'm putting down mulch. I'm not planting anything new"
Mom: "Ok look nice"

At this point, I stood up and looked around to see if my mom was hiding in the bushes and wondered how she saw it.

Me: "How do you know it looks nice. You're not here"
Mom: "I just know.."
Me: "That's just weird"

I'm now scared that my mom is somewhere in my house at all times...

What I pictured my mom to be doing during this text message exchange