Voicemail

As long as I've had a cell phone, I've always had a problem checking my voicemail. This problem is mainly due to laziness so if I missed a call, I probably didn't get back to you for a while and not because I didn't want to talk to you, it was because I actually didn't know why you called until about 2 or 3 days later. I found the whole having to call your voicemail, put in your pin and then listen to all the messages so time consuming so when I installed the Google Voice app on my phone, I thought everything would change. Google Voice has a voicemail to text feature that would allow you to play the message immediately, along with just quickly read it. Awesome, right? Not if you have an accent or if you are soft spoken, then it's just simply hilarious.

My dad, unlike my mom, is soft spoken and doesn't go into detail in his voice messages or texts but Google Voice somehow translates them into messages that I decided to put into random posts.

Translator:

"Hey and just want to mention that I don't know this is. I shouldn't be a host of thing. They made a bet on it with you called that you guys that one time I wanna go over the next time I think you know I governor. If you want to go. Give me a call and then I need to be okay bye."

This was one of the first messages I received from my dad and I stared at longer than I usually stare at messages. He shouldn't be a host but he made a bet on something that I told him about since I obviously know the governor? Well, just to be on the safe side, I pressed play to hear the actual message.

Actual Message:

"Hi Jenny, how are you doing? I just wanted to mention that your grandmother is at your aunt's house and she made both kinds of cookies. One with the eggs and ones without. Give me a call if you're going. Ok, Bye"

_____________________________________________________________

Translated Message:

"Yes any. The. So much to and then romando going over the place. I don't see anything that looks like this. So, give me a call that the service to you later. Okay bye."

Who is romando and what kind of service is he performing? On second thought - I don't want to know. I'm too young to know and will always be too young.

Actual Message:

"Hi Jenny. I'm upstairs and I'm looking around but I don't see the pictures you were talking about. Give me a call. Oh wait, it's late, I'll talk to you later"

Needless to say - the app isn't very accurate but it does make for some good quotes.

Room Number

I remember when I was younger that my teachers would always say that they had eyes in the back of their head and could see everything you are doing while they are writing on the board. I always thought the same about my mom. She knows where I am and I always figured she just installs a GPS device on all of my electronics and knows where I am at any given moment. A good example and proof of that is here.
I recently got married and before leaving for my honeymoon, I warned my mom that she wouldn't be able to speak or text me for a while since I was traveling internationally. I told her that I would give her a call when I had a chance. She said she understood, but let's face it...she didn't and apparently had other plans in mind. It was the 2nd day of my honeymoon and I decided to buy a calling card and call my mom. She didn't pick up the phone so I left a quick message telling her we got there safely and the hotel was really nice and I would try to call her back in the next few days or so. After a couple days, I called my mom again and we chatted for a while. I wasn't sure how much longer I had on the card so I told her I would call her when we got back to the United States.

Me: "I'll give you a call when I land at the airport"
Mom: "I want to tell you about my new car. I'll call you there"
Me: "I don't even know the number here and I'm heading to the beach now anyway"
Mom: "I know it. You're in room 1345"

Please note - I never told my mom what the name of my hotel is. Not because I thought she would stalk me but between the wedding and everything else going on, I simply forgot.

Me: "How do you know my room number?"
Mom: "I called the hotel and they gave it to me"
Me: "They just gave you my room number? That's weird"
Mom: "Yeah, I called your room but you weren't there. When are you going to be there?"
Me: "That's so creepy! I don't know, I'm on my honeymoon. I'm going to the beach now"
Mom: "I'm no creep. Ok, maybe I'll call you later"

Had I known that I, like a celebrity, needed to make sure the hotel didn't give my room number away, I would have. I never spoke to my mom again while I was away but I still wonder how many times she did call my room hoping I would be there.