I'm Just Tired

I recently learned that if I am tired, I can't tell my mom without being asked about 20 questions. Example:

Mom: "How are you?"
Me: "Good, very tired…how r u?"
Mom: "why u r tired? r u sick?"
Me: "No, I couldn't fall asleep so I'm just tired"
Mom: "why u didnt sleep? Do u have a problem?"
Me: "no, I just wasn't tired"

I didn't realize that by saying I was tired, I would have to answer several questions in under a minute. I know now to keep that to myself.

The next day, I receive a text from her checking up on me since I was tired and she was worried about me:

Mom: "how do u feel today? R u tired?"
Me: "No, I'm fine today. How r u?"
Mom: "I m sick withcough I feel like shiet"

Even though I knew exactly what she was saying, I still thought it would be amusing to try to pronounce "shiet". In doing so..I realized that is actually how she says the word sheee-it.

Handy Man

Classic text message conversations are great but they're even better when it's in person. I have been painting my new house for the past couple weeks and my mom would randomly come over to bring coffee. I would have suggested she could help paint but it might be hard to do in heels since that is the only thing my mother wears on her feet. Anyway, one of the coffee trips she made she started telling us a story about doing things yourself around the house rather than hiring someone:

Mom: "Let me tell you. Do you remember grandpa?"

Apparently, I forgot who my grandfather is even though he passed away when I was 23 years old. She likes to do that with all of my relatives that passed away, as if I completely forgot that they existed.

Me: "Yes…I do remember him."
Mom: "Ok, well he did all the work himself in his house. He was such a handle man"
Me: "A handle man?"
Mom: "Yes, a handle man. He didn't need to hire anyone, he did everything himself"
Me: "You mean handy man"
Mom: "Yes. He was such a good handle man. He could fix anything. You remember right?"
Me: "Yeah, I remember him being a good…handle man"

At one point she would use the word "handy man" correctly, but then go back to using "handle man", which makes the conversation that much more confusing for people who aren't used to her English. So I did what any daughter would do…I stood there and smiled while watching everyone attempt to understand.