As you may know, my mom sends me a text every morning to ask how I am. There is the random phone call because, as she puts it, "I want to hear your voice! No typing!". As you might remember, I receive a daily "how are you?" text. However, today it turned into "I Jen hor r u?" At first, I assumed that she wasn't great typing with her new Droid phone (yes…she felt the need to become much more technologically advanced and get a Droid. At least 3 times a week, I get a confused phone call because there are so many buttons and applications). But after that text, I receive the "how are you" text. Was my mother trying to insinuate something? Was she trying to get me out of denial and write something I should say…"I, Jen, am a whore?". I wasn't sure if I should take offense to this. So I did what any child would do in an awkward situation…I ignored her.
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For Halloween, I dressed up my Corgi puppy as a hot dog. As a proud parent who found torturing her dog with a hot dog costume hilarious, I sent a picture of her to my mom. The response was pretty much a classic response as she was in the process of learning how to use her new Droid:
Me: "Abbey is dressed like a hot dog for halloween"
Mom: "Hi Jen how are you? :)"
Me: "Good how are you? Did you get my picture?"
Mom: "I'm ok I'm trying to learn this cell"
Me: "Did you get the picture?"
Me: "Abbey is dressed like a hot dog for halloween"
Mom: "Hi Jen how are you? :)"
Me: "Good how are you? Did you get my picture?"
Mom: "I'm ok I'm trying to learn this cell"
Me: "Did you get the picture?"
The next text is a video that my mom took of the wall
Mom: "She is si cue u went with her for tric tric?"
Next year, I plan on posting a video of my mom take my dog out trick-or-treating in the same hot dog costume while she dressed up as a bottle of ketchup and yells "tric tric!" at every house.
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My mother sent me a text after dropping my brother off at the train station for a business trip.
Mom: "Hi jen how r u?"
Me: "Good how are you?"
Mom: "Good how are you? You going to pipi!"
Me: "I'm going to pee?"
Mom: "Yes you going to pipi de la risa!"
Translation: "De la risa" means "from laughter" in Spanish.
After this text message, I receive a phone call so she can tell me what is so funny that I was going to pipi. Please note - my expectations were pretty high. Her story:
"Jen I just dropped Vin off and he was yelling because I was late to pick him up and saying he was going to miss the train. I was late though. So I told him to shut your mouth and put on seat belt because your mommy was taking you to the train station! It was 5 o'clock and we had to drive to New York so there was so much traffic! I was in and out and in and out like crazy from the cars! His eyes got so big and he yelled 'slow down'! I said no, I told you we no going to be late! Well, we get there 15 minutes early."
Me: "So you drove like a crazy lady."
Mom: "He was so scared. He almost pipi in the car!"
She, then, proceeded to laugh into the phone for about 3 minutes and my expectations really need to be lowered next time.
