International Text Messages

My mom recently left for Argentina and will be there until the middle of August. Yes...a full 2 months. Some of you may be upset thinking that there wouldn't be a post until she comes back. Fortunately, you are incorrect! I've received more texts in the past week since she has left than I do when she is in the United States. To be honest, I'm a little scared to look at my cell phone bill since international texts are not included in any text message package and are billed per text message received and sent.

Right before she boarded the plane, I received one last text message:

Mom: "Jen when u can email me vin email and put in my conctact"

Me: "You have his e-mail already in your contacts. You just e-mailed him"

Mom: "Ah!! ok"

Once she landed, I received the following text:

Mom: "im good GRACE"

Apparently, in the 13 hours that it took her land in Argentina, I had forgotten her name. Once I received that text, the rest just started pouring in.

Mom @ 1:11pm: "pls checmYVOICE MAIL+TKS" (I think I should teach her to proofread)

Mom @ 1:14pm: "did u check now?"

Me @ 1:16pm: "You didn't have any new messages"

Mom @ 1:17pm: "ok tks"

All of a sudden, she's the fastest text messenger! And very needy.

While I was at work one day, I started receiving all of these text messages that made no sense.

Mom @ 1:49pm: "Im ok"

Mom @ 1:57pm: "Im ok"

Mom @ 2:02pm: "Ok and vin?"

Mom @ 3:04pm: "Ok im ok i call you later"

Mom @ 10:26am (next day): "Im ok"

Mom @ 10:26am: "Im ok" (No, that's not a typo. They were sent within 30 seconds of each other)

At this point, I have no clue what's going on! I just keep receiving text messages every couple minutes saying that she was fine. I finally get her on the phone and ask her what she was doing. She tells me that she's fine and she couldn't figure out her phone so she just kept sending text messages to test her phone. It would have been so much less confusing if I knew she was going to be running text message tests. I hope she pays me back for those "Im ok" text message tests because, at this rate, my entire paycheck will be paying to know that she's ok every minute and a half.

No Doubt!

There will always be specific songs, smells, and places that remind us of someone. For my mother, it's really any song that came out in the 1990s, especially any song by No Doubt. I got a call from my mom and she was telling me that she was watching the Spanish version of American Idol where each week the contestants have to sing a song based on the week's theme. I'm not quite sure what this week's theme was, but one of the contestants sang a No Doubt song. This automatically meant that I was receiving a phone call.

Mom: "The Argentinean girl on the show remind me of you"

Me: "The girl did? Why?"

Mom: "She sing a song of No Doubt. I remember you listen to them all the time when Vin went to college. Do you remember?"

Me: "Yeah I remember"

Mom: "Yeah No Doubt. That with Glenn Stefan"

Me: "Yeah, Gwen Stefani is the singer"

Mom: "That girl sang the song so good! And she doesn't even speak English"

My mom always had a problem with Gwen Stefani's name. Glenn Stefan is a new one. She used to yell "I'm so sick of hearing that music with When!"

I recently told her that I bought tickets to see No Doubt in concert, which prompted her to ask me "They are still around?! Oh my god.." Yes...When/Glenn Stefan is still around.

Translation

If you've been following this blog, you would have noticed that my mom has her "text code" and can take a couple reads to fully understand. It makes her text messages unique and special.

Mom: "How r u"
Me: "good how are you"
Mom: "Ok bouring"

Translation: I'm ok. I'm bored.

Me: "I'm home watching tv"
Mom: "bouring"

At first glance, I thought she was calling me boring but after I asked, I realized that she was telling me that she was bored. I guess that part of the "text code" is to eliminate part of sentences.

Mom: "How r u"
Me: "I'm ok"
Mom: "Ok, where rs u!"
Me: "I'm out at dinner"
Mom: "Ok enjoed"
Mom: "Ok"

You would think that the time between her first text and my answer was at least an hour. No, it was a quick answer and I had actually just spoke to her on the phone 30 minutes prior to this text. I'm not sure why she texted me back with the 2nd "ok" - I guess she was just confirming that the conversation was over. Sometimes you need to double check.

Happy Mother's Day!

If anyone has ever gone out to eat with my mom, they would know that my mom has a special way of ordering food. When we first get there, she searches in her purse (which is entirely too large) for her glasses. Once she finds them, she opens the menu to look through it. Except, she's not actually looking - she is basically pretending to look through it because when the server comes around to take our order, she makes one up. Although the following story is not about text messages, it was still pretty amusing so I decided to share.

My family and I went out to breakfast for Mother's Day and when we first sit down, my mom went through the menu as usual. The waitress comes over to take our drink order and after we're done, my mom tells the waitress that we're ready to order. This would be fine, if we hadn't sat down about 30 seconds prior and had no idea what we wanted (she does this often). When it becomes my mom's turn to order her food, she closes the menu and says:

Mom: "I would like whites with no fat and ho he bread"

The waitress had a really confused look on her face, as do the rest of us. I, then turn to her and ask her what's she talking about.

Mom: "Whites no fat"

Waitress: "Egg whites?"

Mom: "Yes. No fat and no butter"

My mom then turns to me and says, "how do you say ho he bread?" I have no clue what she's talking about so I quickly think of breads that somewhat sound similar.

Me: "Whole wheat bread?"

Mom: "Yes please"

Waitress: "Ok, so you would like egg whites and whole wheat toast?"

Mom: "Yes please, no butter"

As the waitress leaves, my brother and I start to crack up. The whole conversation was just hilarious since everybody involved was trying to decipher her order. Not to mention - how boring of a Mother's Day breakfast is that!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Cinco de Mayo!

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, I went out to dinner and drinks to On The Border. To be honest, any excuse to go there is just fine with me. As I'm driving home, I receive a text message from my mom. Before I go any further, (A little disclaimer) if anyone finds the conversation offensive, please know that it was not meant to offend anyone and was all said in good fun.

Mom: "What u doing?"
Me: "Driving back from dinner"
Mom: "wauuu! u never cook?"
Me: "We went out to celebrate cinco de mayo"
Mom: "Since when u celebred cinco de mayo r u mexican? u must celebrate the argentina think ja ja"
Me: "it gives us an excuse to eat mexican food. yes, i'm now a mexican"
Mom: "Ok u r a nice mexican"
Me: "Thanks haha"
Mom: "Ok mexi dont forget to check the ticket tks"

To quote Clueless, "I am not a Mexican!!!".

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!

-Mexi

It's Been A While

I know, it's been a long time since my last post. Unfortunately, I haven't received any good texts lately that would be worthy to have a post all of its own...but it's been a while and I can't leave you hanging!

I'm sure that every one has heard their parent say something that leaves them confused. As I've posted examples before (mainly, the random sentences from the first post - I still have no clue what that was about), here is another example that really left me a little confused:

Mom: "How are you?"
Me: "I'm good how r u?"
Mom: "Very tired i dont know way"
Me: "Me too"
Mom: "Jen take 2 advil and u will be better"
Me: "Why would i take advil? I'm just tired I'll just have more coffee"
Mom: "Ok"

I think I might have to keep an eye on my mom with her Advil. My mom probably thinks I'm crazy that I only drink coffee to wake up.

My mother's laptop broke a couple days ago and was sent out to be fixed, so my mom has been asking me to check her e-mail. When I asked my mom how the monitor broke, she responded with:

Mom: "I don't know how it broke. It was on the chair and then it fell. But it only fell a little!"

I don't know how something falls a little off of a chair. I also don't know why my mom was scared to tell me that she dropped her computer lol.

Eat Healthy

My mother usually doesn't keep her opinions to herself. As was the case one night when she texted me:

Mom: "what did u have for diner?"
Me: "I had a hamburger"
Mom: "Wuau nice & healty"

She automatically thought that I was eating dinner at McDonald's (why that's the first place that pops in her head? I have no clue). So I reply telling her that we went out shopping and stopped a restaurant quickly and I had a burger. She replies:

Mom: "Ok that nice was a yoke ja ja"

My reaction was basically...wtf? I don't even know what that means. It took me a while to decipher the message with her text messaging codes that include "wuau" and "yoke" (I'm not even going to go near the "ja ja"), but I was still pretty confused. I guess she thought I was being hypersensitive about my hamburger? lol Who knows... In her mind, I should be eating home-made food every night...she is more than welcome to come over my place and cook me dinner anytime!