Twitter

As I'm driving to go out late one night, I receive a text message from my mom that confuses me to the point where I needed to hang my phone to the passenger in my car to help me decipher the message.

Mom: "what is tuister?"
Me: "a twister? It's a tornado"
Mom: "Ok"
Mom: "What is mind tuister?"
Me: "I have no idea. A game? Mind twister?"

Until then, I had been assuming she meant "twister", however, I usually try to pronounce the word she writes and try to rhyme it with another word to see if that's what she's talking about. Twister…toaster… No clue. Mind you, I'm doing this while I have a passenger in the car who probably thinks I have reached a new level of insanity. By this point, my mom who had become frustrated with my lack of knowledge regarding this mysterious word so she decides to call me.

Mom: "what is this word?"
Me: "I have no clue what you're talking about. Twister? Are you talking about a tornado? Why are you asking anyway?"
Mom: "One of my friend asked me to send tuister and I don't know what is"
Me: "A text message?"
Mom: "Oh..maybe! Yeah, that's it a text message. That's how they call it in Argentina"
Me: "I don't think Argentina has it's own word for text message"
Mom: "Yes they do. I talk to you later"

After we get off the phone, I'm telling the other person in the car that I don't think "text message" is what her friend meant. I try rhyming the word "tuister" again when my friend yells out "TWITTER!". I called my mom back to ask her if she was talking about twitter.

Me: "Are you talking about twitter?"
Mom: "Yes!! Twitter! What is?"
Me: "It's this online thing where you just post a sentence about what you're doing. Like a status update in Facebook"

Why I'm even comparing it to Facebook when my mom has never even been on Facebook is beyond me and I realize that it just creates more confusion.

Mom: "Facebook? Ok.. That's stupid. I don't want to join this twitter. Are you on it?"
Me: "No, I'm on Facebook"
Mom: "You are??? Maybe I will join!"

At that moment, I realize that telling her that I was on Facebook may end up with wall posts and comments from my mom once she inevitably joins. Great...

I Call Me Later

I know, I know...I haven't posted anything in a while - I'm sorry! I do have a couple good ones since my last post, so enjoy!
Although my mom has been in Argentina for the past 2 months, nothing really has changed. Since she has been there, she's become very impatient with my responses.

Mom (9:07 pm): "Jen what u doing?"
Mom (9:08 pm): "Jen what u doing?"

She gave me about 45 seconds to answer and I failed. I have become quite the speedy texter though.

Mom: "Hi jen did came from school?"
Me: "Yeah, I just got home"
Mom: "Ok I call me later"

I'm not sure how she was going to call herself later or why, for that matter. I think she's been in the country for too long and needs to talk to someone...and that someone is herself.

This one is probably my favorite:
Mom: "Call me is emergency"
Mom: "Call me is emergency im living now"
Mom: "Im ok"

Was she dead? And why is she texting in the middle of an emergency? I would guess that it would be easier and faster to call someone. As I'm receiving these texts, I'm trying to call her but her she wasn't picking up her phone (yet she was still texting...). She was probably mad that it takes me a whole minute to respond to text messages, so maybe she was bored and wondered if there was an emergency how long it would take me to call.

This next one leads me to believe that my mother has gone crazy. While I'm at work, she calls me and we talk for about 5 minutes on the phone. I hang up at 3:36pm. At 3:38pm, I receive the following:

Mom: "hi jen how r u?"
Me: "I'm ok. I just spoke to you 2 minutes ago"
Mom: "I know i decide to msg"

I recently received my phone bill and for 1/2 a month of my mom's international text messages, my phone bill went up about $50. The extra charge is only for the text messages. Since international text messages are $.25 each, that means that 200 text messages were sent. I'm certain that I only sent about 50. I'm so excited for the full month's charge...

International Texts Part Dos

As I mentioned in the previous post, I've received the most confusing text messages while my mom has been in Argentina.

Mom: "Jeny how much was deposit From the school hi jen how r u?

I guess she was trying to save text messages by sending 2 messages in one? I also like how she called me Jenny or "Jeny" when she talks about something serious and when it's to see how I am, my name changes to Jen.

Mom: "Ohow its your work? k im good its cold here today h"

I learned that this text message was the easiest to understand. For example, for the rest of the day, I received the following:

Mom @ 10:32am: "Ahwith vin?h good fo u will have lunch wi"
Mom @ 10:34am : "Ok i ll call u or u can doit"

I'm not sure if the end of the 1st text message was accidentally moved to the beginning or she was telling me good for you for having lunch - either scenario could work. I did not respond to the first text message so I'm not quite sure what prompted the 2nd text message or even know what she's talking about. What did she want me to do? I have no idea...

Mom @ 2:00pm: "Hi jen how r u?"
Mom @ 2:08pm: "Jen r u ok!!"

I was given 8 minutes to respond to the first text message. Unfortunately, I was in a meeting at work and couldn't do so - I'm pretty sure the police were called because I, of course, was dead in a ditch.

International Text Messages

My mom recently left for Argentina and will be there until the middle of August. Yes...a full 2 months. Some of you may be upset thinking that there wouldn't be a post until she comes back. Fortunately, you are incorrect! I've received more texts in the past week since she has left than I do when she is in the United States. To be honest, I'm a little scared to look at my cell phone bill since international texts are not included in any text message package and are billed per text message received and sent.

Right before she boarded the plane, I received one last text message:

Mom: "Jen when u can email me vin email and put in my conctact"

Me: "You have his e-mail already in your contacts. You just e-mailed him"

Mom: "Ah!! ok"

Once she landed, I received the following text:

Mom: "im good GRACE"

Apparently, in the 13 hours that it took her land in Argentina, I had forgotten her name. Once I received that text, the rest just started pouring in.

Mom @ 1:11pm: "pls checmYVOICE MAIL+TKS" (I think I should teach her to proofread)

Mom @ 1:14pm: "did u check now?"

Me @ 1:16pm: "You didn't have any new messages"

Mom @ 1:17pm: "ok tks"

All of a sudden, she's the fastest text messenger! And very needy.

While I was at work one day, I started receiving all of these text messages that made no sense.

Mom @ 1:49pm: "Im ok"

Mom @ 1:57pm: "Im ok"

Mom @ 2:02pm: "Ok and vin?"

Mom @ 3:04pm: "Ok im ok i call you later"

Mom @ 10:26am (next day): "Im ok"

Mom @ 10:26am: "Im ok" (No, that's not a typo. They were sent within 30 seconds of each other)

At this point, I have no clue what's going on! I just keep receiving text messages every couple minutes saying that she was fine. I finally get her on the phone and ask her what she was doing. She tells me that she's fine and she couldn't figure out her phone so she just kept sending text messages to test her phone. It would have been so much less confusing if I knew she was going to be running text message tests. I hope she pays me back for those "Im ok" text message tests because, at this rate, my entire paycheck will be paying to know that she's ok every minute and a half.