Happy Mother's Day!

If anyone has ever gone out to eat with my mom, they would know that my mom has a special way of ordering food. When we first get there, she searches in her purse (which is entirely too large) for her glasses. Once she finds them, she opens the menu to look through it. Except, she's not actually looking - she is basically pretending to look through it because when the server comes around to take our order, she makes one up. Although the following story is not about text messages, it was still pretty amusing so I decided to share.

My family and I went out to breakfast for Mother's Day and when we first sit down, my mom went through the menu as usual. The waitress comes over to take our drink order and after we're done, my mom tells the waitress that we're ready to order. This would be fine, if we hadn't sat down about 30 seconds prior and had no idea what we wanted (she does this often). When it becomes my mom's turn to order her food, she closes the menu and says:

Mom: "I would like whites with no fat and ho he bread"

The waitress had a really confused look on her face, as do the rest of us. I, then turn to her and ask her what's she talking about.

Mom: "Whites no fat"

Waitress: "Egg whites?"

Mom: "Yes. No fat and no butter"

My mom then turns to me and says, "how do you say ho he bread?" I have no clue what she's talking about so I quickly think of breads that somewhat sound similar.

Me: "Whole wheat bread?"

Mom: "Yes please"

Waitress: "Ok, so you would like egg whites and whole wheat toast?"

Mom: "Yes please, no butter"

As the waitress leaves, my brother and I start to crack up. The whole conversation was just hilarious since everybody involved was trying to decipher her order. Not to mention - how boring of a Mother's Day breakfast is that!

Happy Mother's Day!!!