Since my mother is now back from Argentina, I've been receiving more text messages AND phone calls. Most of the time, there is no purpose to the phone calls but my favorite is when she calls me and is silent for a second and then asks "So why did you call?". Clearly, she's losing it. Today's phone conversation was pretty classic.
Mom: "Jenny, this is telling me I need extra protection. It says I have a condom for the trojan"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Mom: "It's $60 extra, should I get it?"
Me: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Mom: "It has a condom for the trojan...you know?"
Me: "No, I have no idea what you're talking about"
Mom: "Oh, yes you do! You know..a condom. C...O....N..."
Me: "Yes, I know how to spell condom. But I don't know what you're talking about." (I was praying that she wasn't talking about what I think she was talking about and if I kept saying that I don't know, she would just go away)
Mom: "I don't know how else to tell you. They say I need extra protection in Norton"
Me: "OH! On your laptop!"
Mom: "Yes, I think I have a virus"
Me: "There's no condom, it's just a virus. You're talking about 2 different things"
For a while there, I thought my mom wanted to connect with me and tell me things that no parent should ever tell their child. No matter how old you are, no child is ever old enough to have that type of a conversation with their parent...especially when they're at work.
Since she has been back my favorite text message has been when I told my mom through a text message that I got promoted at work:
Mom: "uahh! congratulation im so happy now u can pay a lunch ja jaja"
Me: "Thanks"
Mom: "U welcame"
In the end, all my mom really wants is a free lunch.
