You Asked For It!

So I finally decided to start this blog after being asked several times. Before I begin, let me explain... This blog will contain text messages that I receive from my mom. My mother likes to call me several times a day and when I started working a full-time job, she didn't quite understand that I couldn't answer the phone all the time. That is when I started to teach my mom how to text. Once she fully understood text messaging, there was no stopping her. Some will take a few readings before making any sense, some are Spanglish (it starts in English then turns into Spanish or vice versa), and others will contain entirely too much information. Just to be clear...I am in no way, shape, or form making fun of my mother - I think it's absolutely adorable and they definitely make me smile, even when I'm having a bad day.

Since this is the first post there have been many text messages that I can't possibly fit them all onto 1 post but I will write my 2 favorites so far.

One morning I receive a text message from while at work that says the following:
"Find Mistake
Maria likes to skate
Teresa speaks in class
do you need a schedule?
do you have a lot of homework?
do you like spanish class?"

So I responded as any other person would...I texted her back asking her what the hell she was talking about. It sounds like ESL lessons, but who knows lol (ESL - English as a Second Language. Apprently, it's called something else now. ELL, English Language Learners, or something like that. Ok, I'm going off topic now..let's get back)

My mom then responds, "See if those sentences are ok the spell"

I responded saying that I didn't see any mistakes and I asked why but received no answer. To this day, I still have no clue what she was talking about.

This next text message is, by far, my most favorite. Although, I will warn everyone...it does contain more information than you probably care to know. I'm just warning you...

Mom: "How are you"
Me: "Fine, how are you?"
Mom: "Im wating in the hosp"
Me: "Why are you in the hospital?"
Mom: "Doing the mammo" (She likes to cut some words short lol Mammo..hosp.. the rest of the word is nonsense)
Me: "Oh that sucks"
Mom: "Im in the pancake machine"
Me: "Yeah, that sucks"
Mom: "In tap my period came and my breast iu very sensible"

First of all...I don't know how ones breasts are sensible or "iu" sensible, but I actually think I would appreciate if mine were. That would be nice. Second...apparently, menopause doesn't run in my family..I'm just sayin..

Some other goodies included:

"I call you i faith with tio"

I didn't really understand this when I received it, I just figured I was going to wait until she called to find out (Tio means uncle in spanish). It sounded like her and my uncle were going to pray, but it actually meant the opposite - she fought with my uncle.

"Tu hermana va contigo tranlate pls"

She's actually proud of herself that she abbreviates words like pls and tks...she's cool like that. At first glance, you might think she doesn't know what it says but she's actually asking how to properly translate it into English.

"Jen i dont have me cel how r u?" She was texting me from someone else's phone. Who does that?? She also turned into a leprechaun.

Although there are lots more, I will save those for another time. Until then, I leave you with..."Ok why u dont answer u dont like to talk?"